FAQ's

If you missed our "little" announcement last week, we are expecting!  And yes we are STILL adoptiong :)  I'm due October 17th (which makes me 11 weeks currently) and I'm quite miserable.  Which is such a good sign that things are going well.  Lots of hormones making me feel awful.  Such a interesting way to feel comfort.  Sick = good.  Completely backwards to our normal thinking.  It's all so worth it though.

I'm guessing you all have some questions so I'm here to give you a list of FAQ's :)

What does this mean for your adoption?

Very good question.  We had JUST started the process of deciding which country to adopt from and raising money.  So we are still moving forward with both of those things.  My Origami Owl business is slowing taking off and I'm, little by little, tucking away funds for our sweet child.  So if you feel led to donate, we are gladly accepting donations.  And we are inching closer to deciding on a country.  We are still waiting on hearing a little more info on two select countries.  Once we deicide on the country then I will continue to do research for a great agency to go through.  Since I've been feeling so sick and tired the past 2 months, I haven't had the energy to get off the couch let alone do research for adoption.  And since we have a reason for it to move a little slower, I'm fine with the process taking longer right now.  Ask me that in 2 years or so when we are still waiting (which is very likely).

How far apart will Caedmon and the new baby be?

22 months if I make it to my due date.  21 months if this baby follows Caedmon's footsteps and 20 months if he/she decides to be like Lincoln :)  But hopefully not any closer than 20 months.

Since you had a "fairly normal" pregnancy with Caedmon does that essentially wipe your slate clean from any and all high risk factors?

Unfortunately no.  I was hoping I was in the clear but it seems like my risk percentages haven't decreased.  I still have about a 25% risk of getting pre e and about 10% chance of getting heelp again.  BUT I had those same risk factors with Caedmon and didn't get either so I'm not going to waste any time worrying about it.  Found out an interesting tidbit about pre e though.  Dr S was telling me that new research is showing that it might have something to do with how close genetically my child is to me.  Studies are showing that if a child is closer, genetically, to me than to my husband than it can cause problems with the placenta which then in turn releases "something" into my blood stream causing blood pressure to go up and the beginning of pre e.  This was interesting to me because look at my two kiddos

Caedmon = looks more like Tyler

Lincoln = looks more like me

hmmmm and which child caused all types of problems for me?  the one who looks like me!  connection?  So I guess I'm praying for another child that looks more like Tyler :)  One pregnancy problem causing child is enough!


Do you think it'll be a girl this time?

Ha, that's so funny.  I'm already convinced that we only have boys so bring it on!  I love my boys and would be so blessed to have another one.  Lincoln is already convinced that it's a boy.  He'll call for me in the other room and say, "Hey mom!  can you come here?  oh and bring that baby boy with you!"

And when I have the energy, I'll start taking belly pictures.

here are a couple pictures from our Easter weekend.  We spent it here, missed our families but were blessed with friends who took us in for an Easter feast :)

That's all for now!

So thankful for my preemies!

Very thankful for my very healthy preemie today on

World prematurity awareness day!  

One of his former NICU nurses asked if they

could put up a little display of him in their NICU 

Hall of encouragement.  That's what I like to call it.

When Lincoln was in the NICU I would stop in this hallway, 

on my way to pump, and read each of the babies stories

and find encouragement in all of them.  They were all doing

so well now and had come such a long way.  

When she asked if Lincoln could be put up there I cried.

I cried because he is one of those that is doing well 

and has come such a long way.  I'm so blessed 

and happy.  So many times, things could've gone SO, SO wrong

for both he and I, but it didn't.  It wasn't time for either of us 

to go.  And I'm so thankful I have the chance to be his mommy. 

Here is the display that's hung in the hallway: 

and since the writing is super small here is what it says:

"After Lincoln's mom experienced her water breaking at 24 weeks in her pregnancy, everyone prepared for him to make his entrance into this world far too early.  When labor symptoms never appeared, doctors took extra precautions not to introduce infection and his mom was ordered bed rest here at the hospital until delivery.  Although her water had broken, a mother's body still continues to produce amniotic fluid, and amazingly, Lincoln always had just enough near his mouth so he was able to continue to develop his lungs.  He waited another 7 weeks before her body decided it was time.  She had come down with pre-eclampsia and later, HELLP syndrome.  Lincoln was born via emergency c-section at 31 weeks 5 days. He weighed 3lbs 6oz and was 15 3/4 in. long.  Everyone expected his lungs to be severely underdeveloped but he shocked everyone when he didn't need oxygen and was breathing on his own.  After 6 weeks in the NICU, struggling to learn how to eat and a hernia surgery, he was released to go home!

Lincoln is now a very energetic, curious and tender-hearted 3 year old who definitely keeps his parents on their toes!"  

I love BOTH of my preemies! :)

expectations

pregnancy edition

It's so funny how I'm viewing this pregnancy differently than when I was pregnant with Lincoln.  When I was pregnant with Lincoln (before 24 weeks) everything was picture perfect.  I went for monthly doctor visits, we had our sonogram and found out it was a boy, I felt FABULOUS, I was so excited about my growing belly, my doctor even told me at my last "normal" visit (day before my water broke) that I was a boring patient.  Ummmm hello doc you just totally jinxed me! 

23 weeks preggo with Lincoln

And so far, even though this pregnancy has been different, symptoms-wise, and we had some worries early on but right now (in the weeks between 10-20) everything seems to be going just like it did last time.  And since last time was perfect until 24 weeks I've been able to stay calm and worry less about the here and now.  Things seem to be going well and so I'm just going with the flow.  What I'm worried about though is that 24 week mark.  I feel like I'm going to be so paranoid about my water breaking every second of the day from the day I turn 24 weeks, until I deliver.  I'm praying that that isn't the case and that God would keep my heart calm through it all.  But it's funny how expectations are. 

With Lincoln's pregnancy I had all sorts of expectations and because of those expectations I was broken.  I wanted it all to look a certain way and to experience certain parts of pregnancy that I feel were ripped away from me.  And it's taken time but I've gotten over those things.  But this time around I am so goal oriented with making it to certain weeks.  24, then 28, then 32, then 34 and who knows, maybe even 40!  But my expectations are so much lower of this pregnancy and I'm not sure how I feel about that.  I think it's just my way of guarding my own heart.  Tyler has always said, "low expectations lead to few disappointments" which is so true but I feel like it's such a pessimistic way to look at life.  So I go back and forth on whether I should have higher expectations or "hope" that things will go alright. 

7th week in the hospital 31 weeks (Lincoln was born 5 days later)

My expectations for how I give birth to the baby have gone out the window and I'm ok if I have to have another c-section.  Things like that.  If I have another preemie who can't breastfeed then that's just the way it's going to have to be and I'm ok with that.  Because I just can't have all these expectations like I did with Lincoln and then be so disappointed when they aren't met (ex. c-normal birth and breastfeeding).  Those were two big expectations for me. 

But this time I'm taking everything in stride.  One day at a time.  My only expectations this time around are a healthy baby and healthy mommy.  Everything else is so trivial it seems.  There are people who will make you feel like dirt if you don't breastfeed your baby (but what they don't know is what your baby has gone through and how hard you've tried) and there are people who will make you feel like less of a mother because you had a c-section (which happened to save both mine and Lincoln's life).  I say, from experience, that the ONLY things that matter when it comes down to it is that mom and baby are both alive and healthy.  period.  So this time around, those are my only expectations.  

Lincoln at 16 weeks

Did you know....?

...May is Preeclampsia Awareness Month.  Did you know that?  Unless you've experienced it yourself and are informed about it, probably not. Many of you might not even know exactly what it is.  I had heard of it before my pregnancy but paid little to no attention to it even after I found out I was pregnant.  I knew that it happened in SOME pregnancies but had no idea just how often it occurs or how potentially harmful and life-threatening it is to both mom and baby.

Here are some more facts found from the Preeclampsia Foundation website:

Regarding United States statistics:

*5-8% of all pregnancies in the United States are affected by preeclampsia - this can be as many as 300,000 women and babies in the United States each year

Regarding World-Wide/Global statistics:

*What was once termed a “rare” disease is responsible for 76,000 maternal and 500,000 infant deaths world-wide each year

 *Globally, 10,000,000 women and their babies develop preeclampsia each year

 I'm adding their button to my sidebar for the month of may (and probably longer!) so if you feel like you want to learn more, donate or find one of the "walks" just click on the button below or look for it on the side of the blog.  

{click it to learn more}

Also:  *92% of PW donations go directly to programmatic funding, which includes providing patient support and education, raising public awareness, catalyzing research and improving health care practices.


If you are pregnant and wanting to know the signs and symptoms of preeclampsia so you can be informed and aware of what to look for, it can lead to more timely diagnosis and diligent health care.

"No mom should have to share her story of survival or tragedy during such a special time in life."  I agree and if you want to read stories of other women who have walked this road, click HERE to read.


I am one of the lucky ones.  I am here to raise my son, tell my story and my son is healthy and a very energetic little 22 month old.  I am blessed :)

If you are new here and want to read about my road of preeclampsia, hellp syndrome and P.R.O.M. find the "Our Story" button at the top of the blog and there is a quick recap of it all with links to more detailed posts about what all happened during my pregnancy with my sweet little boy.  

a birth story.....20 months later

Every now and again, I'll stumble onto a blog post of a birth story.  I love reading them because they are all so different and unique to each person.  After reading one a couple weeks ago I thought about my birth story.  I realized I had never really written down the actual birth story of Lincoln.  I know there were posts to keep everyone updated on he and I's status during that rough time but nothing close to a "birth story."  I thought about it for a few days wondering if I should even attempt to write anything.  Mainly because it's not really something I care to remember a whole lot about and to be blatantly honest, I was disappointed.  I hate to say that because how can I complain and be disappointed about something that led to two miracles?  But I was. 

Well as almost all of you know, my water broke extremely early, at 24 weeks pregnant.  Thankfully I did not go in to labor and was put on strict bedrest in the hospital until I delivered.  Lots of tears, fear, and anxiety later it was 52 days after the fact and I was still in my hospital room on what had become a new "normal Sunday."  My sister Hope was with us for the summer so she was there, Tyler and the Neills had come over to keep me company and play games for the evening.  We had lots of fun and I was actually feeling pretty good that day. My blood pressure had been tipping the scales lately and so it was being closely monitored.  I could usually tell when my blood pressure was higher if I was feeling different and that night I just KNEW when they came in to take it that it was going to be closer to normal, because I felt really good!  Man, talk about not being able to read my body well.  It was my highest reading yet 180/119 (just for a benchmark, normal is around 120/80).  My nurse had me lay on my left side and took it again, no change.  She tried to hide the fact that she was seriously concerned and left the room to call my Dr.

31 weeks 

(this is as far as I could go, the door to my room. If I left the room it had to be in a wheel chair)

Wow my skin was so pasty white!  You can tell I hadn't seen the sun in 7 weeks!

At this point, I was 31 weeks 4 days pregnant and since I hadn't been having contractions and Lincoln was doing as good as they could tell inside me, I wasn't even thinking about his coming anytime soon.  It was around 8 or 9 that evening when my Dr. came into my room and announced that she knew when Lincoln's birth date was going to be.  Still a little confused, I asked "when?"  She said today.

I wish I could've seen myself in the mirror after she answered the question because I probably looked so surprised.  I kind of thought she was kidding around with me (remember I felt SO good!).  The first thing I told her was, I wasn't ready.  I didn't have any time to prepare myself mentally.  Ummm....hello Marie you just had 52 days in the hospital to mentally prepare yourself for this.  Kind of a "duh moment."  But this was for real. 

She said a few other things about what was going to happen next, I don't really remember, left and right after that the new nurse on night shift came in to start prepping me for the c-section.  I couldn't believe it that my nurse for the c-section was going to be a friend of ours from church.  She was on call that night and called in specially for the emergency c-section.  I remember her asking if this was going to be too weird for me since I knew her but I was strangely ok with it and actually it made me feel more at ease instead of weird.

We called our parents in Nebraska and a few close friends to tell them the change of plans.  Pretty sure my mom was in the car ready to head our way within 5 minutes!

Being as this was my first pregnancy, I had no idea what to expect with a c-section, let alone an emergency c-section with high blood pressure!  I had just eaten only a couple hours ago and so they wanted to wait as long as possible before starting the c-section for that reason.  They wheeled me to labor and delivery, I put on my lovely gown, got all the heart monitoring straps put on, an IV started and was told I was being put on Magnesium Sulfate.  I am so glad that I had no idea what Mag does to you because boy was I in for a long couple days!  The Mag was to help lower my blood pressure but it's side effects are absolutely horrible.  They told me it was probably going to make me sick, but I was about to meet my son, who cares if I get a little sick, right?! 

So here we were sitting and waiting.  I was so nervous.  I just kept telling myself, "so many women have c-sections and they are fine."  I had come to the realization that my ideal birth of having him naturally wasn't going to happen way back at 24 weeks when we learned Lincoln was breech.  I remember sitting there trying to soak in the last few minutes of being pregnant.  I loved being pregnant, even though my body apparently sucks at being pregnant. 

Well we weren't waiting there for very long as my Dr.'s had decided that it was too dangerous to wait any longer for my food to digest.  When blood pressure gets as high as mine was, they start to worry about it causing a stroke. (so glad they didn't tell me that)  I remember the spinal wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.  It's such a strange feeling not being able to move your body.  They brought Tyler in and they started right away.  It wasn't long before Lincoln was born.  I was told not to expect to hear him cry because they feared his lungs were going to be too underdeveloped.  I heard him cry.  I  heard.....him....CRY!  They quickly showed me a quick peek of him before he was put directly into the incubator and whisked off to NICU.  He weighed in at a whopping 3lbs 6.8oz and was 15 3/4 in. long.

Lincoln, right after he was born and before he was hooked up to all his monitors and IV's

So now after a baby is born via c-section, what do they do?  They put you back together.  Well, all of a sudden, I felt like I was going to throw up and I told the anesthesiologist.  (He gave my doctor the look of, "I told you we should've waited until her food was digested), grabbed me a bowl and held my head while I threw up.  Weird thing was, I kept throwing up.  And throwing up, and throwing up.  I later learned that it was a relfex I apparently have to them trying to sew me back up.  Fun huh?  So they would start and then have to wait while I threw up and then have to start all over again.  Finally they saw that it wasn't going to stop so they had to just keep going while I kept, at this point, dry heaving.  (Sorry if you have a weak stomach, you probably shouldn't read any farther).  They finally got me put back together and got me to recovery.

I was told I would be in recovery for a couple hours and then on the way back to my room they would wheel me through the NICU to see Lincoln.  I'm still trying to process what just happened during the surgery and the fact that I'm now a mom, when I have this incredible pain right below my rib cage but above my stomach.  I mean excruciating pain.  I kept asking the nurses what was going on and they had no idea.  It felt like they were just writing it off.  I just remember not being able to get comfortable and not being able to move because I was still numb.  After this I can't really remember a whole lot.  (we found out later it was my liver that was hurting so much.  I had hellp syndrome and my liver enzymes were out of control, making my liver triple in size.)

In recovery, this was right before the liver pain started

Eventually they decided I could leave the recovery room, I remember waking up in the labor and delivery room and really believing that I was still pregnant and still in my original hospital room.  I didn't believe anyone when they told me Lincoln was already born, and then I threw up and fell back to sleep.  It was the mag that was making me hallucinate and throw up so much.  I remember the nurses bringing Lincoln out of the NICU to see me and for me to hold him for the first time (this is unheard of, for babies in the NICU but Lincoln was doing THAT well!)  I remember how much effort it took to sit up and hold him.  I remember having to hand him off to Tyler after only a couple minutes because I had to throw up again.  I remember feeling no connection to him.  I hate typing that because that just breaks my heart but I was on so many drugs to keep me alive, that I was in no way, shape or form in my right mind at that point. 

Me holding my precious Lincoln for the first time....I threw up right after this picture.

After that, I was throwing up so much that I wouldn't let someone take my bucket from me without giving me another one.  I remember throwing up on myself and not being able to move or do anything about it.  My nurses were amazing and changed my bedding and gown without getting me out of bed.

I got updates daily about my platelet levels, kidney levels and liver enzyme levels.  My blood pressure was being constantly monitored (which every time the cuff tighten I swore my hand was going to explode from all the swelling) They took 3+ vials of blood every 4 hours for 4 days to keep track of my numbers.  My arms were so bruised and swollen, it was hard getting harder and harder for them to find new places to poke me.

It got a lot worse than this but, you get the idea

Lincoln was born Monday morning at 12:56am and I didn't get out of bed until the following Friday.  A sweet nurse came and washed my hair for me one of the days (not sure which).  Slowly my numbers were turning the corner.  My first time to go see Lincoln in the NICU, the nurse went too fast pushing me in the wheelchair and I yelled at her to stop because I was going to get sick.  It was like my body had to relearn how to adjust to movement again. 

My first time to the NICU (2 1/2 days after Lincoln was born)

 First time to the NICU

All the while I desperately wanted to pump so my son had the best nutrition offered to him.  I got hardly anything.  I kept trying and kept trying, it took over 2 weeks for my milk to come in.  Slowly I regained strength.  All my muscle was gone.  I literally had to relearn how to walk.  I got good at walking behind my wheelchair down to the NICU to see Lincoln.  It was just down the hall and it took every ounce of energy I had.

I was released from the hospital a week after Lincoln was born.  I had to leave the hospital without my baby.  If our situation had been different, I would say how hard it would be to leave the hospital without your baby but I was prepared.  I knew since day 1 after my water broke that he would require a NICU stay so I had been able to mentally prepare myself for that.  Yes it was still sad but I was in no shape to be taking care of a newborn baby anyway so it was a blessing in disguise I guess.

The next 6 weeks my life revolved around getting my strength back and whenever my body was physically capable, being at the hospital with my baby.  Now, don't go thinking, "well at least you were able to get some good sleep and be well rested before Lincoln came home," nope.  I was up every 2-3 hours to pump in the middle of the night and throughout my day.  It was like I had a newborn but no baby.  It was really hard but so worth it.

So that's Lincoln's birth story.  I had to come to the conclusion that it DOESN'T define me.  My c-section doesn't define me.  The fact that I wasn't able to breastfeed my baby doesn't define me.  This has been a hard conclusion to reach but I've reached it.  For so long I felt worthless and that I let my baby down.  I had so many articles and research thrown in my face about how c-sections are bad and if you don't breastfeed your baby you are a horrible mother etc.  It was hard but it doesn't define me.  My worth is found in Christ alone, not how I birthed or fed my baby. 

This story is just a part of the bigger story of our lives.  He and I went through a lot but I learned so much through it and I've seen numerous ways how God has used it in my life. I am thankful, everyday. 

If you want to read more, here are some links:

What is HELLP?

Preeclampsia

unfortunate possible connection?

So I've been doing some research on hellp syndrome/preeclampsia and have come across some new research that suggests that it might be possible that women who have a Vitamin D deficiency are being linked to pre E and hellp. 

My possible correlation?  Vitamin D comes from both foods and sun exposure.  Last summer I was inside ALL summer.  No sun.  None.  Was I Vitamin D deficient?  I don't know for sure but with no sun I'm guessing yes.  Was this the cause?  Who knows but it's an interesting connection. 

So all you pregnant women make sure you are getting Vitamin D!  It can't hurt!

pe and hellp

 Photo Credit

Yesterday and today I've been reading forums on preeclampsia (pe) and hellp syndrome.  If you've followed along my blog, you'll know that I suffered from both of those during and after my pregnancy and they were the cause of Lincoln's premature birth. 

In case there are some of you out there that follow, that I don't know of, that found my blog because of our similar circumstances I thought I'd share this website.  It's the Preeclampsia Foundation website and it has SO much helpful information.  I've especially loved reading the forums.  Before actually getting hellp symdrome I had no idea what it was and it's so good to be able to read others' stories and hear their personal experiences.  So if you're interested at all, check out the Preeclampsia Foundation website. 

July 6 - God's perfect timing for Lincoln

Here is an exerpt from a devotional book that I've been doing for July 6 (Lincoln's Birthday).

If we have completely entrusted something to God, we must keep our hands off it. He can guard it better than we can, ans He does not need our help. "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when men suceed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes." (Ps.37:7)

Things in our lives may seem to be going all wrong but God knows our circumstances better than we do. And He will workin His own way and in His own time. Often there is nothing as godly as inactivity on our part, or nothing as harmful as restless working, for God has promised to work His sovereign will. A.B, Simpson

I thought that was perfect for the day Lincoln was born. God was completely in control and still is of little Lincoln's life and mine for that matter on that day. What an awesome God we serve!!

Some Serious Stuff

I don't think anyone of us (especially me, I was on so many drugs) realized just how serious last week was and really could've been had God not done a miracle. This is what happened as best as I can remember it. My blood pressure was taken later Sunday evenong and it was 183/119. For those of you who don't know that's the point when they start worrying about seizures happening. And it defined me as having severe preeclampsia. So my Dr. came in and simply said it's time to have the baby, I was of course in complete shock b/c I felt completely normal. So since it's was considered an emergency c-section they couldn't wait for all my supper to digest and got me prepped for the surgery asap.  Because of the high blood presseure they loaded me up on magnesium sulfate (to keep from seizing) but it made me so so so so sick. Lincoln was born and they started putting me back together and I started throwing up. FYI: Not fun while your stomach is cut open! It took them alot longer to put me back together b/c they essentially had to start over each time I barfed. (I later learned that this was a reflex when they would put pressure on my uterus to stitch it back up, so eventually they just had to do it even though I was vomiting through it all).  Oh AND before the c-section I had told Tyler to follow Lincoln to the NICU after he was born to make sure he was ok, not thinking that I would be in worse condition than Lincoln!  So I had to endure that horrible experience without him by my side.

After they had finished they rolled me to the recovery room (which I should've only been in for two hours turned into 4 almost 5 hours. Little did anyone know that I was actually a lot sicker than anyone thought.  I had this incredible pain right under my rib cage and above my stomach.  I've never felt so much pain.  (I found out later that my liver enzymes were 300 times their normal levels and had basically doubled in size and if it had ruptured it would've been fatal).  They kept me on Magnesium Sulfate until Tuesday morning. A normal level of it is "1" and I was up to "13" by the time they took me off of it.  I was throwing up multiple times per hour because of it's effects.  The Magnesium Sulfate's function is to decrease the risk of seizures and progress to eclampsia. 

Monday is when the H.E.L.L.P. syndrome (Hemalytic anemia, Elevated Liver enzymes, Low Platelets) started and my liver enzymes went 300 times their normal levels, my platelet count came down from above 200,000 to 24,000 and at some point my kidney's stopped receiving blood and basically stopped functioning. They told me if my platelet levels would've reached below 20.000 they were going to give me a blood transfusion. Luckily it never dropped that low! They were really worried about my kidney's and almost put me on dialysis.  Luckily I turned the corner right before they had to start dialysis and never was put on it.  My kidney doctor was always very positive about my kidney's returning to their full function and always reassured me that each day my numbers were looking better and better. 

The chance of getting this H.E.L.L.P syndrome is about 1/1,000 and can be deadly. I think this actually set in for me yesterday (right after being dismissed from the hospital) when my mom went to get all my prescriptions filled and told the pharmacist what I had had and she asked if all my organs came back. I was just like "wow, this really could've been bad!" So slowly but surely everything did come back to normal but for the first three days they were drawing my blood and doing labs every 4 hours. That's why my arms looked like I was a drug addict. I was so out of it at first that I really don't remember what happened until late Wednesday evening. My family keeps saying things like, "well your nurse this day did this," and "you don't remember so and so visiting?" I remember seeing and holding Lincoln on Monday, hardly anything on Tuesday and then seeing Lincoln again on Wednesday. I remember being sick and throwing up all over the bed and all our family being there on Monday but this is really everything. I'm glad that they didn't let on to me how serious everything was but I really wish they would've told Tyler more information. He really didn't know what was going on with me until afterwards.

Lincoln's birth was completely God's perfect timing. I was able to keep in him there as long as I could and my Dr. told me that Sunday evening she really didn't have a "scientific" reason to take Lincoln, she just knew it was time. If we would've waited any longer, I still would've gotten the H.E.L.L.P syndrome and it possibly could've fatal for Lincoln and much worse for me than it already was. I just Praise Jesus for keeping us all safe during it all and most importantly for being alive! I'm so glad to be on this side of it now. Lincoln is doing wonderfully and I'm slowly recovering. The main kind of recovery for me now is gaining back my muscles. After 8 1/2 weeks on bedrest, my muscles have basically atrophied and I'm incredibly weak. I'm so glad my mom is here to help take care of me for a few days, I can't drive until next week so she's able to help that way and just getting things for me because I tire out so easily. The physical therapist said not to get frustrated because this will be a long term recovery. Little by little I'll get my strength back.

I think it was completely a God thing as well that I didn't get emotional throughout the entire thing (I'm am now as I look back and see what really happened) but if I would've been emotional throughout it all, I think I would've taken longer to get well. Lincoln was doing so well that I didn't have to worry about him 24/7 which was an amazing gift.

So that's really all I have right now, just wanted to fill everyone in on what really happened last week and to give God all the glory He deserves from it because He was the only one in Control the Entire Time!!!

A New Day!

Today is a landmark day is many ways. First of all it's Lincoln's 1 week birthday! Secondly it marks exactly 2 months that I've been here at St. Joe and thirdly it might be the day that I get to be discharged! I haven't blogged since before Lincoln was born, I had my sister update everyone last week after Lincoln was born so that everyone could kind of stay up on what was happening. It was completely a God thing with the timing of Lincoln's birth. They've now diagnosed me as to having severe preeclampsia which probably caused the H.E.L.L.P syndrome which probably caused loss of blood to my kidney's. All of which they think still would've happened last monday whether I had had Lincoln or not. So getting him out of me was perfect timing. I probably would've been even more sick if they would've waited even longer and it probably would've gotten to Lincoln as well and made him sick. It was perfect timing because we made it long enough that Lincoln was small but that's really the only problem he has. Miraculously enough he has no repiratory problems! That was the main concern before he was born because of the lack of amniotic fluid.

This has been quite the week, to say the least and I will blog more about that in the next few days. It truly is a miracle that I am here typing this today on my way to full recovery and I have a small but very healthy baby! I am just still in awe of everything that has happened and have not fully processed it all but that will come with time.

I'm just so excited to finally join the outside world again! Please continue to pray for Lincoln as he grows a little each day. Pray that he would continue to do so well and not have any future problems. Also pray for me that my strength would build back up. I've already noticed how tired I get just walking down the hall to the NICU. Pray I would know how hard to push myself and when to rest as well. This is still going to be a long journey but this more of the "fun" part of the journey. God is good all the time, all the time God is good!

Lincoln Tyler is born!

Marie is unable to update this (she is very weak) so I as the aunt am going to try to include as many details as I can. :)

Lincoln Tyler Rempel was born July 6th at 12:56am. Weighing in at 3 lbs. 6.8oz and 15 3/4 inches! He was 31 1/2 weeks along!

Sunday evening was a total shocker! Marie had had a very high blood pressure all day (which had been kind of typical) but it was abnormally high (189/118). So around 10pm Her, Tyler and I were all just sitting around in her room and Dr. Mroz came in all serious and said "well we have just decided your son's birth date" (if the blood pressure would have been any higher the baby would be at risk and wouldn't be getting as much blood. The doctor said she wanted the best circumstance for both a healthy mom and healthy baby.) Marie said "what sometime this next week?" "Nope, it's going to be tonight" Marie was shocked and didn't know what to do, given such little notice. So they started prepping her for her C-section then realized that Marie had eaten supper around 6:30pm and in order to get the full 8 hours without eating before surgery, they were going to wait until 2:30am to deliver. They started her on magnesium to help the blood pressure, which made her sick. But around 11:45pm they decided that her blood pressure was still really risky so they did an emergency c-section around 12:30am. I'm told that they c-section went as well as it could, but she got nauseous during (because she still had food in her system) and had to throw up while they were trying to sew her back up, causing gas bubbles in her system that she is still feeling in her stomach, chest, shoulder etc.

Lincoln cried right away after being delivered (they had told her to not expect any crying because of the circumstances). She was able to see Lincoln for about 20 seconds after they washed him up before taking him to the NICU.

Marie went into recovery which was supposed to be for about 2 hours, which ended up being 4-5 hours because she was having sharp pains in her chest and back (caused from the manipulation of her organs during surgery when she got sick).

Because Marie was on the magnesium still (which still was making her sick) she wasn't able to move to postpartum and since Lincoln was doing so well, they were able to bring Lincoln to Marie in her room around 10am! This is unheard of when a baby is in NICU! She was able to hold him for a short while until she started getting sick again.

Lincoln is doing fantastic! They had to put him on oxygen for a very little time right after birth. He is now without any oxygen, he has a feeding tube through his nose but has been able to suck 3 bottles so far! The sucking motion isn't usually learned until 33-34 weeks along and he is only 31! The nurses are calling him a wild man because he is so active and fights the nurses when they are tending to him. The doctors and nurses are all so amazed at how well he is doing, they say Lincoln thinks that he is 34 weeks along instead of 31! Marie has been able to see Lincoln 3 times now, he was able to come to her room all of these.

Marie is still in her labor and delivery room, being watched closely. All day on Monday she was sick and drowsy from the magnesium (they had to do a round of over 24 hours of the magnesium, which helps keep the blood pressure down, reducing the cause of seizures) then another of the meds she got made her really loopy. Family was all here all day on Monday and we just sat with her while she would get sick and then fall right asleep, which happened continuously all day. Monday evening is when she started getting loopy from the medicine and it was kind of interesting the things she would say and such. (Tyler and I were entertained) I think she was replaying Sunday in her head and she didn't even realize she had had Lincoln already. She thought she still had to go into surgery and her nurse D.D. was going to be with her etc. We have lots of stories to tell if anyone asks :) Anyways, so she would be talking then one second later be fast asleep.

Today they took her off of her magnesium (which has been really good for her) her blood pressure is looking a little better but is still a little on the high side. Her platelet count is high which is good, liver and enzyme level is lowering, which is good and they were worried about her kidneys but they ran some tests and they are both back to normal. She is REALLY weak and tired right now. It was hard for her to suck out of a straw and to chew earlier today. She cannot stand or walk on her own from weakness. They have been taking her blood every 4 hours to check the platelets and they started out at 24,000, then 29,000, back to 24,000 and then tonight it rose to 31,000, which hopefully means she is on the downside of the hill and is getting better. The doctor said that if it got down to 20,000, she would need a blood transfusion, so any rising is good!

So that pretty much sums of the past 48 hours or so in a nut shell. Please keep praying for both Marie and Lincoln as they get through these next couple of days.

Avoiding Lab Work and Angry Ex-Smokers

So I just successfully avoided getting my blood drawn again and have to give another urine sample! My blood pressure was high again a few hours ago and so as soon as the resident saw that she ordered more lab work done! When my nurse came in I told her that I didn't have any other symptoms of pregnancy induced hypertension and asked if she could page my Dr. and ask if this lab was necessary. She came back and said the order was canceled! It's just so funny to me that this keeps happening (only funny because I can avoid it).

Today was so nice, I finally got the chance to sit outside in my wheelchair again! Perfect weather for me! I hadn't done that in probably at least 2 weeks because it's been SOOO hot! The excitement of my day was while I was sitting outside and this older man with an oxygen tank came out and started cussing out this other guy, who was quite a ways down the sidewalk, smoking a cigarette. He kept yelling at him to put out his cigarette because it's illegal to smoke on the premesis (he was right) but man he was calling that guy all sorts of names and said that he has smoked for over 50 years and now wishes he wouldn't have. As much as I HATE smoking and this it's rude when people stand right outside of a building and I have to walk right through all their second hand smoke to get out of the building, this was not the way to ask someone to put out their cigarette. I had to keep myself from laughing because the older man was just so outraged and just yelling explitives all over the place! Eventually the other guy put out his cigarette because the older man went in to get security. What was nice though was that the guy who was smoking came up to me afterwards and apologized for smoking since he could tell I was clearly pregnant. He said he had seen me and tried to smoke as far away from me as he could. So anyways, that's about it for the excitement around here.

Please keep praying for baby Lily, they had a rough night last night but she pulled through and is down to 32% oxygen today. J is doing okay but I know this has got to be so hard.

a sigh of relief.....

Disclaimer: This post might be a little more information than some people might care to know so I'm just going to let you know you can stop reading now if you can't handle certain details.

It's 9:42am Wednesday morning and I've been up out of bed and moving around more than I have in the past 24 hours. Yesterday morning the OB specialist order a 24 urine speciman for me to test for proteins and signs of preeclampsia. Well that wouldn't be a big deal except for the fact that my water is broken and I continue to leak all the time. So just putting a bucket in the toilet wouldn't work because the amniotic fluid would taint the urine since it has protein in it. They wouldn't be able to get a good sample and the test would be pointless. So....lucky me, I got to have a catheter (sp?) put in at 9am yesterday and had to keep it in for 24 hours. I've decided, rather quickly, that is so good that they usually put those in after you've been put under for surgery or for a c-section after you've gotten your spinal block. I can't tell you how miserable I was all morning yesterday! I think my nurse finally saw the side of me that can't handle much pain! Thankfully my mom was here all morning and was a great encouragement even though I was very crabby and irritable. I think it was one of the longest stretches of 24 hours (besides the first few days I was here) I've had in a long time! The pain/burning eventually went away and then the rest of the day it was just uncomfortable. Since I didn't need to get up to use the restroom all day, I got up once last night to get ready for bed and that was it! I'm such a baby.

What frustrates me about this is I am almost positive that they aren't going to find any proteins or anything wrong with me. They also took some more blood this morning, I'm starting to get used to getting poked so much! Dr. Mroz ordered some tests to be run on my blood on Monday to see if my high blood pressure could be caused by my thyroid. We won't know the results until at least tomorrow since my blood apparently was shipped off to Mayo Clinic. Part of me hopes it's being caused by my thyroid because that seems like a more simple "fix." But we'll see what happens.

Today marks 7 weeks being here! Wow! Only about 3 weeks left! I've never thought that 3 weeks seemed like such a short time! It seems to easy compared to the 7 weeks I've already done! Tomorrow I will be 31 weeks pregnant! Yippee! We're slowly but surely getting to 34 weeks!