Friday, January 22, 2010

"Choose"




I was listening to one of the Christian Radio Stations while driving and they were talking about picking one word to base this next year on. Instead of making a New Year's Resolution, using this one word to spur you on or that will describe what or how you will do things this year. I thought about it for awhile and was reminded of a blog post of a friend of mine where she talked about "choosing" her perspective. It hit me like a slap in the face because of the condition of my own heart that the moment. I wasn't choosing a good perspective about everything we endured this past year and it was getting the best of me and making me a little bitter. That's so hard to admit but unfortunately it's the truth. I kept focusing on how it wasn't fair that I didn't get a normal pregnancy, a normal birth, a normal recovery. I would find myself getting a little upset if a pregnant mom was complaining about going overdue because I would've given anything to go overdue.

I hate that my heart was so bitter, this whole situation that God threw us in was supposed to grow me and help me to rely on Him which I think it did but as soon as I had the chance to look back on it all and get back to normal life I would start to get jealous of friends with healthy full term babies etc.

All this to say my word for this year is "choose." I can choose to be sad about the things I missed out on or I can be thankful I was able to be pregnant for as long as I was.
I can choose to wish I had a full term baby or I can look at my preemie and be thankful he doesn't have any problems that preemies have.
I can choose to be upset about the fact that Lincoln was born at 31 weeks or I can look at the fact that I never had to be uncomfortable and hugely pregnant.
I can choose......
I can choose.....
and the list goes on and on.

My point is this year my perspective is changing. I am going to "choose" to be thankful and look at all my blessings and not focus on the things I wish I would've had.

I'm sorry this post is kind of a downer.....I've very embarrassed about how I've felt and all my complaining.
So here's to my year of "choosing!"

What word would you pick for this year? I want to hear other's words!

3 comments:

  1. Don't be embarrassed! We all feel that way about things at times, and I love your honesty. I think "choose" is a perfect word. We all have the ability to choose our attitude about the way things turn out. We should all choose to look at the bright side of things and how blessed we are. Love it!

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  2. Oh, I love this Marie. I think "choose" would be mine too...unless it was "truth" as in, I need to TELL MYSELF THE TRUTH! I love you.

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  3. I think your post is not a downer. I think that there's no embarrassment in how we feel - we are human. God made us that way. And He also left it up to us to make "choices" in our lives. You picked an awesome word. Choosing is not always easy. But God will always be there for us to help us no matter what we do choose. Hugz....

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