Friday, April 29, 2011

on my heart : marriage

Did you know that Prince William and Kate Middleton are getting married/got married tonight/last night (depending on when you all ready this)?  At 4am?  I'm guessing there aren't many people who didn't know this.  All this hype about the Royal wedding, which I have not paid hardly any attention to but with it blaring on every channel, at least it seems like it, it's hard to not know anything about it.  There is so much thought and meticulous planning that is going into this huge event.  Lots of money spent.  No detail is overlooked.  Even down to the day before, people are running everywhere to make sure everything happens perfectly. 

Many, if not most girls start planning and dreaming of their weddings from a very early age.  We all dream of having the perfect day, wearing a beautiful dress, and marrying our prince.  Planning a wedding is a long process, lots planning and LOTS of money and it comes and goes in just a couple hours.  Plan for 6, 12, 18, 24+ months all for one day's events.  But how many couples thinking about, planning or preparing for the actual marriage? 

If we all were to put as many hours and effort into planning for marriage as they do for their wedding, my guess is that more marriages would last.  The divorce rate is extremely high.  Unfortunately the institution of marriage is not valued anymore. 

William and Kate have tons of people working for them and helping them plan this wedding but is anyone helping them prepare for their marriage?  If so, we don't hear about it because that's not the interesting stuff people want to hear about. 

A marriage built on a "wedding" isn't going to have a great chance at survival.  Marriage needs a good foundation to build upon.  A good foundation is found in Chirst alone. That song was sang at our wedding and it was so perfect (go listen to the lyrics).  If we aren't both seeking a relationship with Him first and basing our marriage on Him, it will suffer.  

Marriage is hard work.  I was 19, young and naive and had no idea.  I quickly found out how selfish I was and now I didn't just have myself to think about but Tyler. 

Kristen from "We are THAT family" just posted this yesterday and I liked it:

  1. You never arrive-marriage takes consistent, conscientious work! We never attain perfection or reach some plateau. Daily communication and a commitment to work hard are a must. Throw yourself into your marriage!
  2. Work on changing yourself- We spend a lot of time blaming our spouse for the rough patches. If we focus on changing our impatience, our expectations, our control issues, our marriages will improve and spouses will too.
  3. Serve-If you make a habit of putting his/her needs in front of your own, it will revolutionize your marriage.
  4. Invite God in- If your spouse will pray with you, then pray together daily. Be quick to forgive, slow to anger.

We've read different books on marriage but a couple years ago we both read, "Love and Respect." It was amazing.  We learned a lot about ourselves and each other.  Men and women function so differently and this book really lays out the differences and how to end the "crazy cycle" and stepping on each others "air hose."  If you are married and haven't read it, we both highly recommend it.  It was great for our marriage.  

Weddings are great and I had so much fun planning mine but just remember it's one day, and your marriage is for the rest of your life.  Marriage should be the priority, not the wedding. 

Linking up with Casey for "what is on your heart"


  1. This is so true! I was 22 when I got married and I thought it would be all sunshine and lollipops. God must be in the middle, a cord of 3 strands is not easily broken.

  2. Girl I have chills. This us amazing & so true.... Glad I figured this out noe and not in 20 years. Hugs friend :)

  3. i love that book love and respect! really shows how different men and women are...has helped us out tons! love this post, marie!! :) have a blessed weekend!

  4. my friends and I always talk about this! Good post!