{six years}

I know I say this every year but, has it really been 6 years already?!  

I guess times flies when you're havin' fun, right?

These past 6 years have been the best of my life.  It's been quite the adventure to say the least and life has taken us in directions I never could've imagined.  But those things are what have brought us closer together over the years.  I have been so incredibly blessed to marry a man like Tyler.  I saw this print on pinterest and it is so true.

I married a man who I would be incredibly proud if our sons turned out exactly like him.
I pray they do.
They have such an amazing example of what a Godly man looks like.

Now for a walk down memory lane....
December 30, 2005

Happy Anniversary, Tyler!  Each year just keeps getting better and better and I couldn't have asked for anyone better to spend the rest of my life with!

And just because I love looking at old pictures.....

One of our engagement pictures

Homecoming Dance my Senior year of high school 2003

Honeymoon Cruise January 2006

Christmas 2005

Valentine's Date sometime before we got married, not sure on the year :)

Prom my Senior Year 2004

Right after Tyler proposed: June 2005

Trip to Indonesia August 2008

Halloween 2008 Popeye and Olive Oil


I love living life with you, Tyler! 

Caedmon's Birth Story {part 3}

Read Part 1 {here}

Part 2 {here}

4:00pm

My nurse came in a checked me and I was still only dilated to 2cm.  By this time the contractions were extremely painful and I wasn't getting much of a break in between them.  I was hesitant to ask for an epidural already so my nurse suggested getting Nubane.  I had never heard of it but I was willing to try anything at that point.  She said it would make me feel drunk and just take the edge off the contractions.  I wanted to stay in the rocking chair but as soon as I started feeling the Nubane working I needed to be laying down.  It did NOTHING for the pain and only made me extremely dizzy and nauseous.  As long as I kept my eyes closed, I was able to keep myself from throwing up so that's what I did.  I lasted on this for probably 20-30 minutes before I was eagerly asking for an epidural.  Thank you Dr. Samanich for saying it was ok to get it even though I was only at a 2.  I love you forever for that.

4:45pm (ish)

The anesthesiologist came in and got me prepped for the epidural.  I remember getting my spinal before my c-section with Lincoln and how that hardly hurt at all so I wasn't really nervous.  I just wanted them to hurry so I could relax a little.  FYI, having contractions while they are giving you an epidural and having to remain as still as possible is extremely hard to do!

After the epidural I started feeling relief all over my left side but only slightly on my right.  I was panicking that it wasn't going to go to both sides.  I changed positions a little and it eventually got numb on my right side.  HUGE sigh of relief.  Whew.  That was close!

After the epidural I was able to just lay back and enjoy the laboring process. (as much as one can!) I was a little surprised that an epidural doesn't make you completely numb.  Every couple contractions I could feel a little bit of them.  But if you ask me, epidurals are a very beautiful thing.  :)  Kudos to all you who can do this whole birth thing drug free, wow....how do you do it?!  

5:45pm

It was probably about an hour after I got the epidural that I started feeling pressure.  I told my nurse and the Dr. and they debated on whether or not to check me but in the end decided not to since my water was already broke and they didn't want to check me too many times for fear of introducing infection.  Plus I was only 2cm dilated an hour before so both saw the pressure as a good sign but didn't think it could've made me dilate too quickly.  

6:05pm

Tyler getting creative with the camera....I think he was getting a little stir crazy

He's thinking, "Let's get this show on the road!"  Little did he know...

Notice the time on the clock: 6:05pm

At this time I was still feeling lots of pressure but since the Dr. just said not too long ago that I probably hadn't progressed much and wasn't even worried about checking me, I told Tyler to go ahead and head down to the cafeteria to get something to eat.  He must've been starving, poor guy.  (said with lots of sarcasm, since I hadn't eaten anything since 8:00 the night before!)

At least he was nice enough to go outside the room to eat anything so I didn't have to sit there and watch him eat yummy food.

6:30pm

Tyler finally decided to take me up on my offer to let him go eat and went down to the cafeteria.

Literally minutes after he left I felt the urge to push.  I kid you not.  I frantically looked for my call button to get the nurse in there.  She rushed in and checked me and I was dilated to 10 and his head was right there.  She ran out of the room to tell someone to get Dr. Samanich ASAP and then came back in and hurriedly started getting the room ready for me to deliver.  My mom was in a taxi on her way from the airport to the hospital at this exact time as well and so Tyler had taken both our phones with him downstairs.  I was panicked and started repeating over and over again, "someone get my husband in here!" For some reason they aren't allowed to page over the intercom so another nurse came in and asked me what he looked like and what he was wearing.  Then off she went to get him.
I was using the room phone to try and get ahold of Tyler.  You have to dial 9 to get out and then the number and for some reason it wasn't going through and when it did go through I got someone else....twice.  The second time I accidentally called this random person I asked if tyler was there (thinking maybe he dropped one of our phones and someone else picked it up) and the guy was joking around saying things like, "no, but this is Tyler's friend."  I yelled at him that I was in labor and needed my husband and hung up.

While all this is going on, I'm having contractions and the urge to push is so strong.  The nurse told me I had to wait and that was probably the hardest thing to do at the moment.  I kept holding my breath and started shaking,  in order to not push and she kept telling me to breath deep breaths.  Then, what felt like an eternity later, Tyler finally came walking through the door on the phone with my mom telling her what was going on.  He literally walked in and the nurse told him to hurry over and grab one of my legs because I was ready to push.  I wish I could remember what his face looked like at that point :)

Probably scared out of his mind!

I pushed once before my Dr. got there.  He came in, I pushed two more times and sweet little Caedmon was born at 6:54pm on December 15th!  Tyler got to cut the cord and they layed him right on me.  It was the sweetest moment ever.  THAT'S what I've wanted for so long.  THAT'S what I feel like I missed out on with Lincoln.  Those precioius moments just after birth.  No one had to whisk him away to the NICU.  He was here and he was healthy.  

I relished in the moments after he was born.  Having him lay on my chest, I kept saying, "this is the best feeling in the world."  And I was SO excited that I had just had a vbac, I kept telling my Dr. "I didn't think it was actually going to happen!"  I think I was just a blubbering fool, saying all sorts of things but I didn't care.  I was overflowing with joy.  

It doesn't get much better than this.

Proud Daddy with Caedmon 

LOVE.

I told you my mom got there just in time. :)

I was healthy.

My baby was healthy.

That's all that mattered.  

God is so, so good.

Caedmon's Birth Story {part 2}

Read part 1 {Here}

7:30am

I was finally able to be wheeled out of triage and into my labor and delivery room.  The nurses were doing shift change so I had three different ones come in to do my check in papers.  I was asked if I wanted an epidural in case I did do a vbac and without hesitation I said, "yes!"  I know my body and the very low pain tolerance that I have and had no qualms with accepting something that made those contractions (once I started feeling them) go away.  So the anesthesiologist came in to tell me about what to expect.

After all that commotion we were left alone for quite awhile, while my contractions and Caedmon were being monitored.  We waited for my Dr. (who actually happened to be the one on call that day) to come in and talk to us.  A couple hours passed by with no change and I was SO bored.  I was on facebook actually chatting with another girl in my mom's group who was getting induced the same day just at a difference hospital.  It made me laugh that we were both having babies the same day and just messaging back and forth during labor :)

Good thing Tyler painted my toes for me a couple days before hand :)

11:00am

Since my contractions were regular, my Dr. just took his time coming to see us.  Which was fine but waiting around was killing me.  He came in and asked what I wanted to do.  If I wanted to just go ahead with a c-section or do something about getting my contractions going.  I asked what we could do and he said he could give me up to half the regular amount of pitocin.  This was news to me because I had thought all along that if you wanted to vbac that there was absolutely no type of induction.  The risk of uterine rupture without an induction is 1% and with an induction it increases to 1.5%.

This was so hard for me to make this decision because after just sitting in my labor and delivery room all morning with no change, I was leaning more towards a c-section because I didn't want to just sit around all day hoping for a vbac and ending up with a c-section anyways.  In a way I was ready to just give up. So I asked a very unfair question to my Dr. :)

"What would you advise your wife to do if she was in my situation?" tee hee

(thanks Megan for telling me to do that!)

He said, after a couple minutes of thought...."I would tell her we have a level 3 NICU and O.R. right

down the hall and to go for it."

It was all I needed to hear and I was given a new sense of "Ok, I can do this!"

12:00pm

They started me on pitocin and increased a little every half hour.  They only gave me half the normal amount and wouldn't go over that.  I could definitely tell it was working.  Those contractions started coming right away.  They were strong but I was able to relax and breathe inbetween them.  They were about 3-4 minutes apart for a couple hours.  I would doing "ok" with the pain.  My nurse checked me right when they started the pitocin and I was 1-2cm dilated.  So I was trying to make it as far as I could before asking for an epidural because I knew they are know to slow things down.

The best position for enduring those painful contractions was sitting up in a rocking chair and leaning over as far forward as I could, almost in a fetal position (as much as my bulging belly would allow :).  My nurse kept coming in wondering what I was doing during the contractions because they would keep losing Caedmon's heart rate when I would bend over like that.  She tried a few different things because they wanted to see how he was handling the contractions (he was doing great).  I tried to sit differently but nothing helped except to bend over.

Tyler was trying everything he could to help distract me and so he was looking for movies on TV and I'm crazy and wanted to watch the movie, "Knocked Up."  The nurses thought I was hilarious watching this movie about pregnancy and birth while I'm in labor.  I joked with them that I was gonna be in labor forever and Katherine Heigl's character was going to get pregnant, have her entire pregnancy and actually have her baby before me!  But the movie did help to distract me a little.  When that stopped working, Tyler when down to the gift shop and bought some cards so we could play a game.  Then he got up to my room again and we couldn't remember how to play a "slow two person game" since I couldn't move fast enough to play Slap Jack etc. :)

Caedmon's Birth Story {part 1}

*Disclosure* This is a BIRTH story so read at your own risk.  I'll keep certain details to myself but some of it might be TMI for some of you :)

December 14:

35 weeks....last belly picture!

For some reason I had been in sort of a panic mode with nesting and getting things ready for 

Caedmon's arrival.  Which was supposed to be in January.  I felt silly for being so paranoid about

getting everything done but at the same time felt a sense of urgency to get his nursery

painted, decorated, clothes washed etc.  

So Wednesday night I had Tyler helping me finish some projects I had planned for the nursery.

I was busy painting a "C" to hang in his room and making a couple pennants to hang above the "C."

Tyler was stapling chicken wire to an old frame that I had painted.  Pictures of all these

fun projects to come as soon as I get it all hung up in his room! :)

So we got all that done, folded tiny clothes, set up the crib and were exhausted. 

I went to bed with plans to take it easy the next day.

December 15th:

4:00am

Much like when my water broke with Lincoln it was early morning while I was sleeping. Although this time I didn't have a panic attack.  I was surprisingly calm.  I woke Tyler up and told him, "don't panic but I think my water just broke, I'm not for sure but just wanted to let you know."  Tyler isn't the panic-y type and so he just said, "oh, ok I'll just start packing a bag just in case."

It didn't seem like it was my water at first so I stayed awake for about a half hour trying to figure it out before a gush came at 4:30 and I knew for sure.  I packed my bag (because of course that was on the "to do" list and wasn't done yet).

We woke up a very sleepy Lincoln and packed a bag for him. While I was getting everything ready he followed me around in a confused state but was super sweet during those last minutes of just Tyler, him and I.  It was such a weird and surreal feeling, leaving the house that morning knowing that we were leaving as a family of 3 and would be coming back as a family of 4.

We called and texted family to let them know.  Funny thing is, my sister has been waiting and waiting for this call and I had called her the day before and "cried wolf" just for fun.  She wasn't very impressed with my humor.  Funny that it was the next day that I went into labor!

5:00am

We arrived at the hospital and were wheeled up to the labor and delivery floor. 

They had to check to make sure it was actually my water that broke and I didn't just pee my pants....trust me people from my last pregnancy I am an expert on knowing if it's my water or just peeing my pants! 

For those of you who don't know, once your water breaks, it keeps leaking....yeah it's so much fun to sit in that while waiting for triage to check you in and everything :)

They got me all hooked up to the monitors and the nurse checked me and to my disappointment I wasn't dilated at all. Nada, nothing, ziltch.  I was pretty disappointed.  My mind was all over the place not knowing what to expect or what was going to happen.  Was my body going to be able to vbac or was I headed for another c-section?

Just LOOK at that awesome blood pressure 122/80 :)

I kept praying that that I could vbac.  But in the back of my mind I totally doubted myself and that it would ever happen.  It was like this big dream of mine to do it but I had little faith in it actually happening.  Mostly so that I wasn't completely disappointed if/when it didn't happen.  I knew for my own sake I had to go into it with no expectations and to be flexible.  All I really cared about was having a healthy baby.  However that happened was going to be fine with me.  HOW I have him doesn't define me.

I apparently was having some sporadic contractions but wasn't feeling any of them.  Which meant that they probably weren't doing any good with helping me progress.

The nurse asked if I was wanting another c-section or do a trial of labor.  I told her I wanted to do a trial of labor and see what happened.  I could see it in her face as I said that, that she didn't think a trial of labor would amount to much with the random contractions I was having.  But I tried not to let that bother me.  I could just feel a sense of calmness surrounding me.  A peace I can't explain, that only God gives in moments like these.  

Look what Santa left in my stocking....

Best Christmas present I've ever received....

never mind the fact that his stocking looks like a mermaid fin :)

embracing those first moments

embracing the camera today with sweet little Caedmon. 

 a dream come true.

the best feeling in the world.

Caedmon Jay is here!

So I haven't even had a chance to post my 35 week update.
I took a picture on Wednesday, not knowing that was going to be my last bump picture!
That's right, Thursday morning my water broke and Caedmon Jay made his appearance
into the world that evening.

Caedmon Jay
5 lbs 15 oz.
18 inches
6:54pm
December 15, 2011
(He chose the right "date" just the wrong month!)

I'll post his exciting birth story soon but until then enjoy some pictures!

Our sweet little boy is here!

He was wide awake right after birth

Our little family of FOUR!

So in love with this little man.

Somebody just wanted to make sure he was here in time for Christmas.

felt Christmas tree

So I saw these felt trees all over pinterest and since I feel like I haven't done hardly

anything Christmas-y with Lincoln, and I was headed to Joanns already anyways, 

I thought I'd make one for him to play with and decorate.  

I got lucky and the felt was only $2.99/yard.

I bought 3/4 yard of green felt and 1/4 yard of a couple other colors.  I also had

some here at home to use as well.  

I just used some stick pins to attach it to the wall.

The ornaments, star and presents then just stick to the tree.  

You know like those Sunday school felt boards used to tell the story?

Yep, just like that. 

"Here mommy, you do it"

It'll be fun to pull it out each year.  This way he can decorate his own tree instead of

 "helping" me decorate mine :)

soaking up...

....every minute I have left of just my 1 boy and I.  It's so strange to think that it will never just be Lincoln and I again.  I can't quite wrap my mind around it all.  I think I've been too overly relaxed about the end of this pregnancy.  It's all been so "normal" that I'm just not preparing like I probably should be.  I just started packing my hospital bag.  I haven't had to do that before.  Weird.

We had our first "snow" last week and we took advantage of playing out in it before it all melted.  

Making tracks in the snow

Loving our new backyard

"Mom! It's Snow!"

So pretty.

During the spring/summer/fall those are soccer fields back there and off to the left is a fabulous playground!

love you to the moon, little buddy

"there's a bird!"

Baby Caedmon will be here before we know it and I don't want to take for granted all this one on one time I have these last couple weeks with Lincoln.