Monday, March 25, 2013

oh potty training....

 { warning this post is about potty training (hence the title) so read at your own risk :) lots of talk about poop and pee.  }

potty training.  those were two words I cringed at and still kinda do.  i think every mom cringes when they think of trying to begin this daunting task.  i think i can finally say we are done with the potty training.  that's not to say we aren't without our accidents but he is doing extremely well (2 months later).  after waiting and waiting for him to be "ready" and I mean waiting for what seemed like forever, especially when you get looks from other people that say "you mean he's not potty trained yet?!  how old is he?!"  oh it gets old.  those judgmental statements from moms who have a child that potty trained at 18 months.  and i know a lot of people give you advice because they think it's helpful but really what worked for your child probably isn't going to work for my child.  yes the ideas and support are so helpful but what i learned is that i just had to figure out for myself what was going to work for my child.  all those 3 day methods are great and all and kudos if they worked for your child.  i tried it.  it didn't work.  please don't insinuate that it works for every single child and if it doesn't then i must be doing something wrong or there's something wrong with my child.

because believe me.  before we ever started almost a year ago, i was doing tons of research on how to approach this whole thing and figured the 3 day method was our best bet (for me at least, who really wants to drag this whole thing out longer than 3 days anyway?!) :)  i tried it but oh man, i thought he was ready but he wasn't and we only lasted a day and a half.  so we waited.  everyone kept saying, when he's ready he'll do it.  well my child proved to be the exception to the rule.  i kept looking for signs and nothing.  so 6 months later at 3 1/2 i figured out this whole thing had everything to do with his strong will and laziness and nothing to do with the fact that i wasn't seeing any signs of readiness.  so once i figured that out i finally knew what i had to do.  i did the one thing that every book will tell you not to do.  i forced him to do it.  it wasn't child-led.  none of that nonsense.  :)  i decided it was time and we tried it and he fought it.  boy did he fight it.  he was begging for his diaper back.  so that's when i threw in the towel and did things my own way.  i said well ok then i'll go along with that.  i told him he could have his diapers back but it came with a cost.  if he was going to wear a diaper, than he was going to be treated like a baby.  drink from a bottle, eat baby food, only get to play with baby rattles and no tv.  and guess what.....he liked it.  yep my plan was backfiring on me.  he was having a blast playing "baby" and Tyler was so mad.   I kept saying, "just wait, this will work.  this will work.  this will work. man this better work!"  and eventually it did.  he finally realized it's not much fun playing with baby toys and not getting to watch an tv..  so he came to me and told me he was ready to be a big boy.  and that's how we finally started.

that was back in January and as of a couple days ago I can finally say he is completely potty AND poop trained.  FINALLY.  it probably could've been sooner but i was too scared of accidents so i let him wear pull ups for longer than i probably should have but oh well.  it's done.  and i'm so proud of him.  and he's so proud of himself.

all this to say, i have learned once and for all that potty training is not a "one method fits all" thing.  it's a learning curve that each parent/child combo has to learn and figure out for themselves.  i'm sure caedmon will be completely different from lincoln and i'll be learning from the get go with him as well.  i can't expect the way lincoln potty trained to be the way caedmon will.  every child is different.  :)

so for all of you parents out there who are currently potty training or are getting ready to potty train I'm praying for ya!  those are some tough, tough days/weeks/months and now i really know how hard it can be and i truly sympathize with you.  just take a deep breathe, prepare for lots of accidents and have starbucks delivered (oh wait they don't do that!) :-/

and since I'm just so proud of how far he's come, we traveled 12 total hours in the car this weekend to a wedding and he did it in underwear with zero, ZERO accidents!  i thought this day would never come.....and it did.  so there is hope for every parent out there! lol

3 comments:

  1. So fun to read this story Marie! We struggled with Grayson too! He's still not potty trained at night, but it took until this last month for him to wear underwear during wake time with very few accidents. It's tough when people look at you strangely when they ask how old your child is and comment about how he's "not potty trained?". Grayson had a few tummy issues that caused him to have a few more problems than most, but he also had the strong willed/lazy attitude that it's just "easier" to go in his diaper/pull up so I can relate! We finally "made" him go as well. Found out he didn't like us to "encourage" him and out of frustration I pretended to cry when he went potty one time. What do you know, but he LOVED that and that's what we have to do when he goes now. Makes for some funny looks in public restrooms when they hear/see you pretending to cry when your kid goes potty but for the sake of dry underwear I'm MORE than happy to make a fool of myself in public! All this to say - I don't comment much, but I really enjoy your stories of what's happening in your life and can relate to a lot of it! Thanks so much for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yay Lincoln! And Yay Marie! Its a journey for sure. And yes, every kid is different. Hence the reason almost 12 months later, we are still struggling with Logan poop. It comes & goes in good weeks & bad weeks. I would LOVE to do what you did with L for Logan, we did a modified version of it, and if I didn't have the other 2, I'd take all the toys away too. Making things "their choice" is such a good plan with anything with toddlers. Kuddos to your plan!

    Is he night trained??

    I thank God for all our strong willed boys! Otherwise they may not be here to potty train. So I guess if he wants to fight me on poop for another year (annoying as it is) its a journey I'm glad we are on.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Good for you ALL!!! Potty training is seriously tough. We tried different things with our oldest but I gave up after frustrating attempts and just let her tell me when she's ready. That finally worked, and thank God it did because I was gonna go mad! So, good for you guys and I'm glad y'all made it out alive...and dry!!
    Who knows how it'll go for our next ones. Let's pray it'll be easier!! It's gotta be, right? Right?? ;)

    ReplyDelete