Thursday, July 30, 2009

Challenges...

Lincoln is now over 4lbs 12 oz! He's growing like crazy and will probably be over 5lbs by the beginning of next week! Him and I have been meeting with the speech therapist and she's been showing me ways to help him eat from a bottle better. There is SO much to remember and so many different cues to be looking for when feeding him. Raised eyebrows, wide eyes, slow blink, fingers spread out are all signs that he needs to be paced and is on the verge of gagging or "freaking out." This morning he took his full feeding again and it seems like he's getting more consistent in the amount he is taking. Waiting for him to learn to eat is what everyone keeps telling me, is the most frustrating for parents. He's doing well with everything else and ALL we are waiting on is for him to learn to suck, swallow and BREATHE! I'm sure he'll still be in the NICU for at least a couple more weeks.

As much as I really want my baby to come home, I am also really scared to bring him home. Preemies have so many more needs than full term babies and right now I can just look up at his monitor and know for sure that his heart rate is fine, his breathing and blood oxygen level. When I bring him home there are no monitors or nurses nearby to help if something happens. Full term newborns don't scare me and I think God just wanted to challenge me just a little bit more (I think I've had enough challenges to last me a lifetime! haha) but He obviously wants to stretch me a little more.

I'm so amazed at how much energy it takes to run simple errands or do a load of laundry or cook a meal. Yesterday I decided to go get groceries for the first time and wow I was wiped out after getting home and unloading them all and putting them away. I hate just sitting in my house looking at everything that needs to be done and knowing I don't have the energy to get it done.

Well that's about all I have energy to write about now, I think I'll go take a nap :)

2 comments:

  1. I don't know what it's like to have a child in the hospital, but I do remember the sorrow and pain I felt when I was exhausted after a one hour trip to the mall in a wheelchair. You learn something completely different that you wouldn't have otherwise when you lose your health. It's heartbreaking and discouraging. But it also gives you a witness with those who are hurting that you never had before. It softened my heart, and while I hope to never again become like I once was, I wouldn't give any of it back.

    So take heart. God will use this!

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  2. Marie, you just had a baby. Normally, people would tell you to sleep when they sleep. That is hard enough when you only would get to sleep 3 hours at a time. But, with Lincoln in the hospital, you haven't had that luxury of a normal maternity experience. You are an amazing girl. Take care of yourself first, Lincoln will need your strength when he comes home. We love you.

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