Friday, October 19, 2012

I couldn't sleep so I wrote a blog post

Tonight I'm staying up late writing this blog post because I'm too scared to go to sleep.  So with a sleeping 3 year old laying next to me on the couch (yes I was that scared, I wanted him to stay up with me for some company!) I will tell you about our night...

I will begin with telling you all about just how scared I am to stay home alone.  I'm fine during the day with the kids, I do that every single day and come on it's light out!  But I hate the evenings and night.  I don't sleep well.  I sleep with the bathroom light on and the hall light on.  I have to be facing the door (because if heaven forbid, I turn my back to the door, someone will come get me) and I just don't sleep well.  I'm tossing and turning (not really because remember I sleep facing the door) all night long, waking up multiple times during the night.

And another preface to our story:

There have been multiple break-ins happening in the town just north of us and even closer yet in the neighborhood right next to us and one of which happened to our friends.  All during the day and they just take all the valueables so no one has gotten hurt.  But all these houses have been close to a park so that the people can break in and then just run away into the park.  We live right next to a park.

So here is how my day went at 2:00pm

I'm rushing out the door to meet a friend.  I turn off all the lights but make a conscious decision to leave one light on in the kitchen because I won't be coming back home until after dark and I want a light on.  Ok decision made. done. flipped the light back on.  BUT I forgot to make sure all our doors were locked (that's important).  I get half way to where I'm going and realize I had forgotten the necklace I had made for my friend.  So we rushed back home, I came back into the house quickly, grabbed the necklace and we left.

Fast forward 6 hours.
I'm coming home from eating supper with a friend, it's 8:30ish pm.  I get the boys out of the car and we walk into the kitchen.  I flip on the light.

I flipped on the light.


I turned that light on when I left, why is it off?!

Quick scan of the kitchen reveals that I had left the back sliding door unlocked.

Freeze, panic, heart starts racing.  What do I do?!

I call Tyler (oh did I not mention, he's out of town and has been for a week).  Ask him what to do.
Follow his instructions to get the boys back in the van, park it out on the curb and call the police department.

So I call and five cars come including the k-9 unit.  Dang talk about being covered!
They clear the house and look around the outside of it and in the backyard.  Then they come out and ask me to do a walk through with them to see if anything is stolen because they are a little suspicious.  They ask me what "state" I left the house in.  AKA was it messy when you left.

****quick bunny trail here****
if you are my mom or sister right now you are shaking your head and laughing because you know exactly how this is going to turn out.
because they know how messy I am.  how messy my room was growing up.  yes I'm still messy like that but mainly in the parts of my house that only my family and I see like the bedrooms.....mainly Tyler and I's bedroom.

Ok back to the conversation with the police officer....
I'm thinking back to how the house looked when we left.  I was in a hurry so toys were still scattered everywhere downstairs, the kitchen was so-so (could've been a lot worse) but our bedrooms, OH our bedrooms were disasters.

I had just gotten something out of one of our safes and was in the hurry so I locked it back up and left it on the floor.  The safe that Tyler uses daily, the battery had died so he was going to replace it when he got home so to remind himself he had laid it on the floor.  And I had just done laundry, not put it away yet and had gotten dressed in a hurry that morning so I had thrown clothes on the floor looking for a shirt.  And I had just stripped the bed to wash all the bedding (in a lot of the break ins they have been taking the pillow cases off the pillows and putting all the valuables in them) So our bedroom really did look like there had been a robbery!

And the boys' rooms were messy too with clothes on the floor etc.  So I was embarrassed as I walked through the house with the police looking to make sure all our valuables were still there and telling them that this really is the way I left my house today......  They were all really nice and understanding saying, "I remember our house looking like this when we had kids" stuff like that.  If nothing else I appreciated them lying to me to make me feel a little less embarrassed.

So needless to say we are getting a security system put in and now I might be sold on getting a dog :)  A big dog of course.  a VERY big dog.

So if you are ever feeling bad about how messy your house is just think to yourself, Marie's house looked like a robbery had happened when she had police search her house and there hadn't been one!  Anything I can do to help all you guys' self esteems :)

Fear is something I've battled for a long time.  Fear of staying alone.  I just get so scared.  So it's taken a long time of shifting my fear to trust in God.  It takes lots of prayer and ultimately it comes down to trust.  Trusting God to take care of me and my family.  I can't live in a state of constant fear.  It's draining.  So it's a never ending journey of shifting from fear to trust.


  1. awww girl I feel so bad that you are so scared when your hubby is gone! I used to be like that right after we got married because we were living in a cabin in the woods...random yes...but now it is no big deal! Your story kind of made me smile though :-) glad u are safe!!!!!!

  2. i can relate! it's taken me some time to learn to put my fears aside and trust God whole heartedly in the night when i'm without my hubby.
    i will be praying for you while Tyler is gone. Isaiah 41:10 :)
    (p.s. a can of pepper spray on top of the dresser can also be a bit reassuring. about $10 from anywhere that sells hunting stuff)

  3. Girl, I am the same way. My hubby left for ten days on an elk hunting trip right after having our third kiddo. I was scared out of my wits! I pretty much prayed the entire time he was gone.

    1. for some reason having kids makes me feel better about being "alone" and for some reason having my 3 year old sleep in bed with me helped me sleep better. weird.

  4. HOW SCARY!!! I would have freaked out!

    On nights when I hear "bumps in the dark" & sleep with Olivia. Her bed is closest to the top of the stairs & that way if someone came up them.... I don't know... I guess I could bust out my moves! ;) I really want a security system too, but so far I have to settle for my dog.

    And Sarah... how did I never think of pepperspray at my bedside. Awesome idea! Had some on my keychain once in college... forgot to take it off when I flew to FL. BAD idea! White gloved man, plastic baggy....

    Glad you are all safe!

    1. Tyler always refreshes me on how to use the shotgun before he leaves :) lol

  5. I hate staying by myself too. I always repeat this verse over and over before I go to bed, Psalm 4:8, I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.